Pissgoblins

23 Apr, 2026

Defining trait: highly flammable urine.

1-in-6 chance of exploding when struck, drunk or exposed to heat. Additive.

This quirk in biology has several setting implications.

Relationship to humans:

Most villages don't allow goblins. Accusations of wanton arson. Goblins of course only engage in moral arson and the majority of goblin-related fires are caused by spontaneous combustion.
Enterprising surface goblins peddle urine and hard liquor (distilled urine) at a safe distance.

Relationship to dwarves:

Liquid + goblin = fuel. Renewable energy. The great subterranean cities sequester goblins in camps on the outskirts to fuel their machine-forges. Working conditions are unsurprisingly horrible. Economic output is doubled because they're also forced to labor in factories.
Cool underground air greatly reduces the chance of spontaneous combustion. Caves and dungeons are their preferred environment. Attack dwarves and anyone bearing torches on sight.

Relationship to orcs:

Get the goblins real drunk and stick them on the frontlines to explode.
Pissing contests. 1. Have a few goblins drink a shit ton of liquor. 2. Make them piss over a fire. The orc holding the last uncombusted goblin wins.
A note on religion. Some believe that those who combust in battle will reincarnate. Others thinks this is nonsense. Orcs prefer the first sect.

Relationship to wizards:

Goblins are a component of many a spell. Fireball being the most famous. Wizards keep a goblin or three around in case of emergency.

Other goblinposts